today

I am so tired most of the time. It can be quite annoying. I got up this morning and got myself and the boys ready for 9AM service. It's nice to have service a little later so we could go to first when it's not so crowded. When we got home I tried to take a nap. I was so tired. Brett wanted to find his basketball pump, which he had last night and it all of a sudden has disappeared. He would not let me take a nap at all! Oy! He just kept whining and asking me to help him find it. UGh! The next door neighbor boys came over and he was still whiny! Wow! Being a mom is tough especially when you have an 8 yr old whiny boy! Anyway, I don't know why I'm so tired all the time. I just don't get it. I hope that the surgery can help. Maybe it's this extra weight and my borderline diseases I have.

Tomorrow

Well, tomorrow I turn 40. I will wear the title like a crown! I feel pride in making it thru another decade of life! This last decade was a big one. It sure went fast. It seems just a couple years ago I was turning 30. This past decade for me was also a major roller coaster! It had Really big "highs" - the birth of my boys, becoming a mommy, buying my house!!; and really low "lows" - my relationship with Kevan, divorce, loss of friendships, emotions going crazy, but God has been faithfully providing thru it all! Thank you God! I first put God was guiding thru it all, but I now know I was the one doing some of the guiding of my own ship during that time. God in his grace has blessed me during this time anyway. Jumping into a marriage is definitely not a good plan, but God blessed me with two amazing boys!! I got to stay home for 7 yrs with them!! Praise God. God provide me my job back with the county and new friends here! God's healing of lots of pain is still taking place, but He is faithful and loving me all the way. Thank you Lord for bringing me thru 40 yrs of life! You are amazing! You will continue to guide and bless me and my family! You are just that kind of God! It will be exciting to see what the next 10 yrs of life brings me. I love you, Lord!

Just thoughts

Things seem to be going pretty well. The boys are doing well in school. Brett has gotten 100% on his first three spelling tests. I haven't seen the other subjects progression, but he's doing well from what I understand. Brandon got student of the month for the first month and is doing his impressive quick learning that just seems to come natural to him. For me, work has been somewhat hectic with lots of cases and customers, but nothing out of the ordinary. I've lost 10 lbs since starting my Bariatric class earlier this Summer. I am getting ready to graduate from the Bariatric class and then the next step is sending the information to Pacific Bariatric for a surgical consultation for the gastric bypass surgery. I'm excited about that, and yet a little nervous at the same time. I am ready to loss some of this weight that's for sure. So, anyway, things are going along as life does. All seems fine, so why do I seem to feel a little depressed the last few days. I started thinking about it as I went on facebook and thought back on Pastor Dan's message. Wow! What a sad thought I had. Most of my contact with friends is thru the internet. Though I am thankful for facebook and being able to see what's going on with some family and friends I haven't spoken with in quite some time, it seems to be a sad commentary on our society that we have more computer contact then face to face contact. Oh, I get my hugs and kisses each day from my sweet little blessings, Brett and Brandon, and the occassional hug from my mom, but somehow, it seems that's not always enough. I notice the times I go to church and get the hugs or even just a touch from a friend that I just light up. Is that what's missing? I5's hard for me during the week to get to church with the boys since we'd get home close to 9:30, so that leaves Wednesday nights out. I was going for a while to the Singles' group until Brett mentioned after one of the activities that we went to with the group that he didn't want to go with "the singles" any more. I'm not sure what happened, but I still may go on Fridays if I remember. Sometimes by the end of the week, I'm just so tired, I don't want to do anything on Fridays. That's sad, isn't it? Well, one thing I did start this week is doing devotions with the boys. I kept meaning to do this and I finally got Brett to get his boys devotional book and we did two little devotions this weekend and we did one this evening while we were sitting at the dinner table. I told the boys tonight that I want to start doing devotions 2 or 3 times a week. I want it to become a habit. Some of the things we have learned already is to learn to get along better by plugging into Jesus our source of power. I want us to be a Christian Family not just by name and going to church on the weekend, but a true Christian Family that is relying on God for all things. Lord please help me to be consistent, but not to beat myself up if I miss a devotion. Help this to become a habit for our family. One that the boys will remember and carry on with their kids. Thank you God for your Word!! Let me never take it for granted. Amen!
Well those are my thoughts for tonight. God bless any who may read this.