today

I am so tired most of the time. It can be quite annoying. I got up this morning and got myself and the boys ready for 9AM service. It's nice to have service a little later so we could go to first when it's not so crowded. When we got home I tried to take a nap. I was so tired. Brett wanted to find his basketball pump, which he had last night and it all of a sudden has disappeared. He would not let me take a nap at all! Oy! He just kept whining and asking me to help him find it. UGh! The next door neighbor boys came over and he was still whiny! Wow! Being a mom is tough especially when you have an 8 yr old whiny boy! Anyway, I don't know why I'm so tired all the time. I just don't get it. I hope that the surgery can help. Maybe it's this extra weight and my borderline diseases I have.

Tomorrow

Well, tomorrow I turn 40. I will wear the title like a crown! I feel pride in making it thru another decade of life! This last decade was a big one. It sure went fast. It seems just a couple years ago I was turning 30. This past decade for me was also a major roller coaster! It had Really big "highs" - the birth of my boys, becoming a mommy, buying my house!!; and really low "lows" - my relationship with Kevan, divorce, loss of friendships, emotions going crazy, but God has been faithfully providing thru it all! Thank you God! I first put God was guiding thru it all, but I now know I was the one doing some of the guiding of my own ship during that time. God in his grace has blessed me during this time anyway. Jumping into a marriage is definitely not a good plan, but God blessed me with two amazing boys!! I got to stay home for 7 yrs with them!! Praise God. God provide me my job back with the county and new friends here! God's healing of lots of pain is still taking place, but He is faithful and loving me all the way. Thank you Lord for bringing me thru 40 yrs of life! You are amazing! You will continue to guide and bless me and my family! You are just that kind of God! It will be exciting to see what the next 10 yrs of life brings me. I love you, Lord!

Just thoughts

Things seem to be going pretty well. The boys are doing well in school. Brett has gotten 100% on his first three spelling tests. I haven't seen the other subjects progression, but he's doing well from what I understand. Brandon got student of the month for the first month and is doing his impressive quick learning that just seems to come natural to him. For me, work has been somewhat hectic with lots of cases and customers, but nothing out of the ordinary. I've lost 10 lbs since starting my Bariatric class earlier this Summer. I am getting ready to graduate from the Bariatric class and then the next step is sending the information to Pacific Bariatric for a surgical consultation for the gastric bypass surgery. I'm excited about that, and yet a little nervous at the same time. I am ready to loss some of this weight that's for sure. So, anyway, things are going along as life does. All seems fine, so why do I seem to feel a little depressed the last few days. I started thinking about it as I went on facebook and thought back on Pastor Dan's message. Wow! What a sad thought I had. Most of my contact with friends is thru the internet. Though I am thankful for facebook and being able to see what's going on with some family and friends I haven't spoken with in quite some time, it seems to be a sad commentary on our society that we have more computer contact then face to face contact. Oh, I get my hugs and kisses each day from my sweet little blessings, Brett and Brandon, and the occassional hug from my mom, but somehow, it seems that's not always enough. I notice the times I go to church and get the hugs or even just a touch from a friend that I just light up. Is that what's missing? I5's hard for me during the week to get to church with the boys since we'd get home close to 9:30, so that leaves Wednesday nights out. I was going for a while to the Singles' group until Brett mentioned after one of the activities that we went to with the group that he didn't want to go with "the singles" any more. I'm not sure what happened, but I still may go on Fridays if I remember. Sometimes by the end of the week, I'm just so tired, I don't want to do anything on Fridays. That's sad, isn't it? Well, one thing I did start this week is doing devotions with the boys. I kept meaning to do this and I finally got Brett to get his boys devotional book and we did two little devotions this weekend and we did one this evening while we were sitting at the dinner table. I told the boys tonight that I want to start doing devotions 2 or 3 times a week. I want it to become a habit. Some of the things we have learned already is to learn to get along better by plugging into Jesus our source of power. I want us to be a Christian Family not just by name and going to church on the weekend, but a true Christian Family that is relying on God for all things. Lord please help me to be consistent, but not to beat myself up if I miss a devotion. Help this to become a habit for our family. One that the boys will remember and carry on with their kids. Thank you God for your Word!! Let me never take it for granted. Amen!
Well those are my thoughts for tonight. God bless any who may read this.

This week

Well, I was very proud when I spoke with Brandon's teacher yesterday when I picked him to find out he is going to be Student of the Month for the first month of school!! Wow!! Evidently he's just doing great and being a good listener and learner! I'm so proud. Brett is also doing well in school. He's learning to write better which is great!! I love that creative side about him.
Yesterday, I had a very enjoyable visit with Grandma at her place! She was in a good mood and we had a good visit! She had just had a friend of hers from church, Betty visiting and I pulled in right as she left. She just got a kick out of that. It was cute how much she enjoyed that. Today is her 92nd Birthday. Wow!! She is doing well and has adjusted so well in the assisted living home! She is going to exercise groups and playing bingo. I'm so happy! I was concerned the first time I visited, but it was so good to see her doing so well this visit.
My parents and Aunts (Aunt Pat and Aunt Janice) have been working hard cleaning up Grandma's house. I got a couple things from the house. I got this little music box from Germany with a little boy in lederhousen overalls. It's not anything expensive, but it is something I always remember from Grandma's house as I was growing up. It's cute and memorable to me. I also got an old German Cock-coo clock that actually doesn't work. I got that knowing that my boys would like it. It is hanging up in my room though so it doesn't get messed up. Oh, speaking of Clocks! My Uncle Mel and Sue sent Grandma a clock for her Birthday. Grandma didn't really like it. It's got grapes on it and it's just not much too it. It's a nice Bulvia clock, but Grandma just didn't want it. So evidently, Sue called Aunt Pat and said "if Rhonda wants it she can have it." Wow! So I got a Bulvia clock too; that works. It just needs batteries and I need to figure out where to put it up.

Brandon and I have been playing a lot on a game on Facebook called Farm Town. Since it's on a social networking site, we've actually been hooking up with Debbie Bray on line and working on her farm too. It's been nice to chat with her more and keep in better contact with her as well. I love being around family! I've missed that over the years that we've all gotten so busy.
And speaking of family, my father, Ron and his wife, Ione are coming down next week from Washington for a visit. It's been 2 yrs since they've been down. Troy was saying it's a tough time for their family but he'd hope maybe we could get together at the same time so he can see us too. I must admit I'm more excited that Troy and his family may be there too than of Ron and Ione. Don't get me wrong they're family and I love them, but not as much as I love and miss my brother. Just being honest there.

I suppose I should write about the craziness that happened this week too. I was on the way to work on Tuesday and I had just gotten onto the freeway when the car in front of me swerved to try to avoid a flattened tire from a big rig in the road. They missed it, but it hit their back tire and flew up. It ended up hitting the front of my car. I kept going on to work cuz the car kept working. Well, as I got off the freeway and started off at the first light, I heard a big crazy sound from the car. Then I looked in the rear view mirror and noticed fluid on the road from where I was! Yikes. I ended up making it to work and parked backwards in the parking spot to look at what happened. Wow! It was definately worse than I thought!! My front bumper is all bent out, my license plate is torn off, my radiator is leaking and who knows what else. YIKES!! So I decided to call this one into my car insurance. Well, that was such a good experience with USAA. They called the tow truck, the rental car place and the car repair and set it all up for me. I just had to go at lunch and get a rental. Well, they offered me 1 of 3 cars; a Grand Marquis (too big), a Ford F150 (definately too big) or a Nissan Frontier truck with 4 doors. Well, I ended up picking the Frontier. My boys were so excited when they saw it. They love the truck. Brett loves to go sit in the back even when the truck is just sitting in the garage. I think he's a truck guy already. LOL Anyway, the damage to my car is about $2560. OY! I still have to come up with the $500 deductible, but there would've been no way I could afford the whole repair cost. Who knew a stupid flat tire could cause so much damage. The repair place said it would be until about Sept. 4th before it's done. So that's about close to 3 weeks of me having the rental. I'm gonna get spoiled riding up so high! Oh, well. It'll be good to have my car back.
Well, I better get going for now.

Busy day

Today was a very busy day. First I went to get my 30,000 miles maintenance service done on my car. The boys and I left the house a little bit after 8 AM. That service visit took about an hour or more. We walked around a little bit there. We had to wait a little bit until the stores in the little area opened up. We ended up at Moe's Chicken and waffles for a snack. It was pretty good. Brandon didn't want to eat anything yet. No surprise there. So, we finally got the service done and next we made a trip to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. I realized that my tire is still running low even when they just filled it. So Brett look at the tires for me and found a nail in one. So, then as I anticipated might happen, I was off to the tire store to get that fixed. Thank goodness they were able to fix it and I didn't have to get a new tire. The tire store was pretty busy so that was another hour or more wait. We walked around the stores it that area. We found a really cool little toy store that has mostly educational toys. It was cute. A store I will have to remember for Christmas for the kids in the family! :) By the time I got the car from the tire shop it was after 12:30PM. So, we headed to my Grandma's new place. My Grandma, who will be 92 on August 22nd just moved this week to an Assisted living home. It is a very nice home that is built like a huge Victorian style house. It has several beautiful patio areas and even a house dog and cat. My boys like that. Anyway, this was my first time seeing the place. My boys have seen it with my parents. When my Grandma was staying with my parents I asked her about how she feels about moving in to the house. She just first said, "Oh, I don't know." I asked her if she was nervous or excited. After quite a pause, she said, "I just can't believe it is happening." She seemed a little sad about the whole thing. I imagine it's a lot of emotions for her. Well, when we visited her today she seemed really down. I asked her how she was doing. She said she just hasn't been feeling well. I told her she seemed to be down. She said she doesn't feel down, but it just seems like it's been a lot for her to deal with. Her place is really nice. It has two rooms that are a good size and her window faces the mountains and she has a good view. She has quite a few of her furnature pieces there. While I was there my Aunt Pat and cousin Debbie came in and brought pictures of Grandma's Great Grandkids to hang on her decorative tree. I must admit it was easier for me to be there and be relaxed and talk more when Pat and Debbie were there. My boys were having fun playing with the tinker toys. Debbie brought Brett and Brandon down for a walk to see the dog and cat. I was a little emotional there with Grandma. It's just tough to see her down like that. I know it's hard for, but she's just taking it as part of life. I am thankful for my family. Just before I left, my aunt Janice came too. I hadn't seen her in quite awhile. It was nice to see her for even that brief moment. When Grandma was staying with my parents, my Uncle Mel and his wife, Sue came to visit and spend time there. It was great for me to have the opportunity for my boys to spend time with them. I was at work and didn't spend much time at all with them, but it's important for me to have my boys know the family.
Anyway, I need to close this off now. My boys are getting loud and crazy. I need to attend to them.

First Blog

Well, here I am in the blogging world. Not sure that I'm doing this for anyone but me. My oldest son, Brett just recently calling me Mamasita. Hence the name of my blog. :) Kids are so funny. He asked me several times if it was okay to call me that and I don't care. It shows his creativity. LOL
I just got a new computer. I was having so many problems with the other one, it was quite frustrating. The boys' dad, Kevan was going to just fix it, but decided to build me a new one. That was very nice of him! I just did not get a chance to get all of my programs off the other computer, so I'm having to kind of build as I go. Luckily I saved my pictures on a flash drive before I gave him the old computer.
Yesterday, the boys and I went to the San Diego Wild Animal Park with our friends, the Spence's. They were our neighbors when we lived in San Diego and we have kept in contact. We try to get together several times throughout the year. They have 3 kids, Shelbie who will be 12 in September, Robert Lee Jr aka "Spud" who is 6 yrs old (Just 11 days older than Brandon) and Jackson who will be 4 on the 13th of August. Our visit yesterday was a Birthday party visit for Jackson. We went to their house after a couple of hours at the Animal Park for Swimming and cake! We had a good time. Boy! I am sure wiped out today!
Spud and Jackson always try so hard to play with Brandon, but Brandon with his Asperger's isn't too much of a social kid. We try to see the Spence's as much as financially possible, but for poor Brandon with him not seeing them more often it's like getting re-aquainted every time which takes him awhile. By the time our visit is almost over Brandon is finally feeling comfortable enough to hang out with the boys.
Speaking of Brandon with his Asperger's. I finally got him into a really good Dr I was recommended on July 31st. Let me give a little history on that "diagnosis": Brandon was actually diagnosed with PDD-NOS in Oct. '08 thru the Regional Center. That is Pervasive Development Disorder, not otherwise specified. PDD is the "Umbrella" that Autism and Asperger's falls under. Well, I don't just take a blanket diagnosis like that and let it sit. I am the type of mom to do my research and seek answers to figure out the best thing to do for my son. Brandon is a very intellegent 6 yr old (July14 birthday). He loves to read and do math. He had no problems in Kindergarten getting his homework done. The reasons why I had him even evaluated is with his social skills and in Summer of '08 he had regression. Brandon was a very easy going, friendly toddler. He has always had a hard time with loud noises even as a baby. He was on board with walking (walked at 10 months) and talking (started right around a year.) His talking was a lot of baby babbling with words in between, but that improved as he got older. He was the type of toddler to go up to anyone and give them a hug. As he got closer to 4 yrs old and in Pre-school I started noticing more of things different. He did pretty good in Pre-school, but he had a hard time at time with switching activities. He wasn't real adept to changes. He still does the parallel playing and takes a long time before he plays with anyone else. He'll respond to another child talking to him sometime. Anyway, he started having meltdowns at Pre-school and at Church he had a really hard time with "worship time" where they took them out of class for worship. The music bothered him and moving out of class seemed to bother him. He started spending his time finding "treasures" during recess instead of interacting with friends. Treasures are any sort of shiny object on the floor, usually trash or string or old toy pieces. He stopped talking to people and really seemed to regress. I had a DR say "at 4 yrs old, kids don't usually regress." Umm, excuse me! I'm his mom, I know my son. He's regressing. Anyway, I brought him in Jan. '08 to a DAN (Defeat Autism Now)Dr who helped me get him on a supplemental regime to help clear out his system. He uses probiotics and other vitamins and enzymes to help him with his digestive system. Brandon seemed to improve over the months. He still had some of the symptoms I was seeing, but my sweet Brandon was coming out again. Well, here we are in August of '09, Brandon just turned 6 last month and started 1st grade last week. Brandon is using a medicated patch during the day to help him to be more even with his moods and attitude. When he would have melt downs and problems dealing with his little actions, he seemed to be so upset with himself to not be able to control it. It was really sad to see him. He knew he wasn't wanting to act that way, but he didn't seem to know how to control it. He would cry with me at night and tell me things like I don't want to act like that. It took me a while to decide on the medicine, but it seems to help him be able to control himself. His Kindergarten Teacher, Mrs. St. Onge, said that Brandon without his medicine is just not the same little boy. It's like Dr Jykl and Mr. Hyde. Brandon does better with me on the weekends than he seems to do with other people. He and I have developed a real stong bond between Mother and son. I am blessed for that.
Anyway, this new Dr., Dr. Curry, just saw him for the first time on July 31st. His first impression of Brandon is that he has ADHD with insomnia. Well, I guess with the hyperness that can be predominate with Brandon and his lack of sleep, that is what it seems. Although, there is definately something more. I know this as a mom who has been very observent thru this whole process. However, lately it has been his poor sleeping patern that has been a big problem for him. So, we are working with a new medicine in the evenings to help him sleep. It seems to really help him with sleep and hence help him in the day time to better function. I met his 1st grade teacher on Friday and she said he is a very bright boy and reads very well. Yesterday, Marie Spence threw out a couple of math problems for him which he just quickly rattled off. So, he does awesome academically. I often joke that it is quite interesting being a mom to a genius. LOL The kid just picks up on things so quickly!
Okay, so this blog has been real theapeutic for me to have this noted somewhere and I'm not sure if it'll be one anyone else would enjoy. LOL but here it is anyway.

I forgot to add that on Brandon's first day of 1st grade last week he was asked to write what he wanted to learn. He wrote that he wanted to learn to sleep. "Mom help me learn to sleep." It made me cry. I'm so glad we are using this new meds that's helping him sleep. My poor guy is so in tune with himself and all around him. He must has heard me talking to the Dr about his sleeping, too. He's so smart and so sweet. I love you Brandon.